"People usually support and yay you when you’re excited at first, but they aren’t equally supportive when you’re obviously in a sluggish state, their advice is more about reconsidering coming back and following the other traditional road. While what you only needed to listen is the same original level of support!" _-_A.N.
i am capable reminded me somehow of why am i doing this. i think i needed to remember my extraordinary road i wanted to take: "The reason I feel that way is because I’m in constant fear that I will get drifted away by life from those things, and end up miserable doing things I had to do instead of the things I wanted to do"_-_A.N.
i kind of felt that in the middle of my way this year, that "why am i doing this?" feeling , the moment when what I had to achieve was just to make everyone proud of me , by going to a good collage and have a fine job with a well salary, that's the traditional road i had to take, going to my wanted collage to have a well education, and build my career without having to drift careers before finding the one i want, that's the road i want to take, they say that's too early to speak of, While Nabih say i need to focus, but as a start i cant "Get down on it and just crunch through the hours, ignore the exhaustion and come up with an output I’m proud of." cause connection is missed between the output and me!
How can i continue to work without seeing any output? Why isn't there any output out of my work? Last year the output wasn't satisfying enough to complete --A Little Spiral upward thinking: says that if last year hadn't satisfied you should work on making this year better, but where is the problem? You do know the problem but you don't know the answer? You do know the answer! but you just don't know how to work on it.
I need A Mentor
I keep telling myself
You cant suspend your whole life on finding one , you cant get attached to people or things , you aren't able to get attached to him, then you have to overcome your laziness and go for the hard working.
Now here i go again that's why i stopped thinking ,writing or even answering my questions cause i am turning around in a closed circle between me and myself making a repulsion force between me and those who are trying to help and when they go away, i miss them and wonder why aren't they here for me.
Mr.Nabih is Good at finding solutions, he doesn't let out all in vain he has to find you the solution first. This time it was focusing , dedication, not looking out for distractions... i think that was pretty much it, as much as it is an easy word to say , it's a very very very hard thing to do , i've gone through my first step last year and it all went down when i hadn't had anything to work for in the vacation this year it's even harder to acquire after the relapse,
